How to be useful to others
How to Embrace and Celebrate Your Own Usefulness
“I felt used.”
We often hear the word “use” in a negative way—as if being used is something to avoid. But being of use to others is actually something beautiful. It means you matter. It means you’ve helped. It means you’ve added value.
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I want to be useful. I want others to find value in what I can give. I want to make a difference.
Someone once asked me what I believe are the three most important ingredients for happiness. I answered: being honest with yourself and others, doing your best in both personal and professional life, and the ability to love. But there’s one more that I missed at the time—one that’s just as important: the sense that you’re useful.
Usefulness—no matter how big or small—is part of our responsibility as people who get to live, breathe, eat, and exist.
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Usefulness, whatever form it may take, is the price we should pay for the air we breathe and the food we eat and the privilege of being alive.”
So how do you become useful?
It’s actually simple: Help someone stand a little taller.
You don’t need expert credentials.
You don’t need to invent the next big thing.
You don’t need a trophy case or fancy degree.
You just need to be human—and present.
Reach Out When Someone’s Struggling
We all have hard days. When things feel heavy, the most powerful comfort can come from a simple, caring check-in.
If someone’s feeling off, anxious, or burdened by something—reach out. Ask, “How are you?” or “Can I help?” Sometimes just knowing someone is thinking about us, worrying with us, or standing beside us, makes everything feel a little more bearable.
Reflect Their Strengths Back to Them
We often see the best in others before they see it in themselves. Many people don’t even realize what they’re great at until someone points it out.
Tell people when you notice their strengths—big or small. Be specific. For example: “You express ideas so clearly. I would’ve needed two sentences, but you got it done in one.” That one comment might help them recognize a skill they never gave themselves credit for—and that recognition can change their direction entirely.
Prevent Mistakes (With Care)
We all appreciate that friend who lets us know when we’ve got something in our teeth before a meeting. That same care applies to bigger things too.
Sometimes we can’t see how we come across. Honest feedback—especially when given with care and courage—is a sign of deep respect and trust. Telling someone, “You might want to think twice about this,” is an act of friendship. It takes bravery, but it can help someone avoid regret—and grow.
Tell People You Believe in Them
The words “I believe in you” carry incredible weight. Those four words don’t rely on someone’s job, skills, or success—they speak to their worth as a person.
When someone hears that you believe in them, they often start believing in themselves. It boosts confidence, changes how they see challenges, and gives them the courage to try. It says, “I see you, and I’m here for you.” And sometimes, that’s all we need to keep going.
Listen Without Fixing
When people are wrestling with a problem, they usually aren’t looking for quick solutions. They just need someone to hear them out—without judgment.
Let people speak freely. Let them sort through their thoughts. Ask gentle questions like, “Why do you feel that way?” or “What led you to this decision?” to help them clarify their own thinking. Being a calm, steady listener can be one of the most helpful gifts you offer.
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Share What You’ve Learned
If you’ve learned something the hard way, don’t keep it a secret. Share it. Even if nobody helped you, you can help someone else now.
If you’ve figured out a better or easier way to do something, pass that wisdom along. Life is tough enough—why make others repeat our mistakes?
I began writing this blog for that very reason: to help others avoid the stumbles I faced in my early years. I didn’t always know what I was doing, and I’m still learning. But if anything I’ve figured out can save someone time or struggle, then it’s worth sharing.
Being Useful is a Gift—To Others and To Yourself
I’m grateful for everyone who ever allowed me to support them, who asked for my help, or welcomed me when I offered it. They gave me purpose.
Being useful isn’t just about helping others. It helps you, too. It gives you a sense of worth. It reminds you that your presence matters. Your actions, your words, your attention—they make life better for someone else. And that’s powerful.
So, if you're reading this and there's something I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask.
Let me be of use.
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